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How To Motivate A Pot Smoker
Hippies, unions and medical marijuana patients join forces in a successful petition drive to overturn San Jose City Council’s ordinance on pot clubs, setting up a referendum or new ordinance. They promptly find a different use for all the paper afterwards.
I’m a PC, and I Really Want to Be Cool
Microsoft’s play for the hip crowd backfires when it brings in the Black Keys to play for free as part of the grand opening of its new store in Valley Fair Mall in November. The first few hundred visitors to the store’s grand opening get a pair of tickets to see their choice of the Black Keys or Joe Jonas, which for most barely qualified as a choice at all. The kids line up, and the media shows up to quote them, but unfortunately for Microsoft, they don’t stay on message. Most admit to being Apple users, and many fiddle with their iPhones in line.
He’s In Deep Doo Doo
Authorities finally collar the suspect in the decade-old exploding robot dog case. Anthony Chang is suspected of sending the killer mechanical pooch to the South San Jose family home of Wendy Hsu, his estranged wife. Wendy’s brother Patrick, home on a visit from UC–Santa Barbara, where he was studying, died after he triggered the bomb by putting batteries in the innocent-seeming robot toy. Chang fled the country and was featured on America’s Most Wanted. He was finally apprehended in Venezula, and awaits extradition.
When I Dip, You Dip, We Double Dip
The exodus of middle management at SJPD continues as Meynard “J.R.” Gamez accepts the police chief’s post in Redwood City. He’ll be paid more than $300,000 a year, including his estimated $117,000 pension from the city of San Jose.
Now That’s a Driver Incentive
When San Jose’s Charles Preston can’t open the driver’s side window on the used minivan he bought this year, he probably wondered if it was worth the $14,000 he paid to Thrifty Car Sales in Santa Clara. Little did he know he’d come out about $486,000 ahead, if you count the half a million dollars in cocaine that his mechanic found wrapped in cellophane in the door panels of his 2008 Chrysler Town and Country. The downside was that after the police arrived to confiscate all the blow, he was still driving a minivan.
The Naked Truth
Never been to a clothing-free holiday gift bazaar? Then this year will be no different, as the Lupin Lodge cancels theirs.
A Really Smart Smartphone
On Nov. 5, a woman’s 2004 Toyota is stolen in Campbell with her phone inside. The woman’s sister texts the thief: Please return the stolen car. Shortly thereafter, the woman gets a call back from a man telling her she can find the car in a Kentucky Fried Chicken parking lot in Santa Clara.
Fries Fry Apartment
Message to Self: When heating oil to make French fries at home, don’t leave the kitchen. According to Santa Clara County Fire Department investigators that’s just what the resident of a Cupertino apartment complex did. By the time the flames are extinguished, 60 people are out of their homes and eight units are destroyed. Next time, how about McDonald’s?
Tastes Like Chicken
Morgan Hill area resident Henry Arnibal is arrested for alleged meth use and cited for killing a bobcat without a permit. According to the Merc, Arnibal shot and ate the beast after it took out some of his 100 roosters.
Rebecca Blacklisted
UC Davis police officer unlawfully pepper sprays protesters and becomes international meme. Amazingly, the cop in question was considered one of the best on the force, showing why it’s hard to trust anyone with a gun.
Smashing Good Deals
Black Friday brings out the worst in people. A woman cracks a fellow shopper on the head with a hammer at Oakridge Mall during the post-Thanksgiving shopping frenzy.
