.Pacific Sun

Gino explains that a person who is seen to be deliberately violating workplace wardrobe norms sends a message that they are so powerful that they can shrug off the potential costs of not following convention. Anthropologists and zoologists call this a costly signal: a trait or behavior that's so wastefully extravagant that only the most mojo-rific people or critters could afford to display it. This suggests to observers that it's more likely to be legit and not false advertising.

Explain that you want their advice on your appearance only if you ask for it. You could also ask them to be supportive of you even if they aren't on board with the steps you're taking, simply on the grounds that you're trying to improve yourself and go after what you want. It's nice when your photo on a dating site makes some man reminisce about a classic beauty from his youth, but not when it's his grandma's prized Hermes alligator clutch.

I am almost 50 but look much younger, and I'm noticing that a number of the guys who are pursuing me are in their early 30s. I'm flattered but not really interested, as I want to get married again and I'm thinking that these guys are too young to consider that and probably want to have babies. Am I a magnet for guys with mommy issues? What gives?

However, though men evolved to prioritize looks in a woman, it's obviously not all they value, especially when they're hoping to get into a relationship. So these cosmetically and surgically redeveloped features may catch a man's eye, but then, mentally, he may take a step back

I'm a 57-year-old twice-divorced man. Though I never wanted to get to a point where romance wouldn't be in my big picture, I'm feeling done with it. I've replaced dating and getting married again with gourmet cooking for one. I'm really enjoying it, but it worries me. Is it okay to be done?

Finally, because you've probably done serious soul-searching and character correction in getting and staying sober, a man who's a good match for you is probably one who's taken some hard looks at himself and worked to remodel where necessary. Ideally, he'll help you feel comfortable opening up to him by being open about his own current and former shortcomings.

Women, on the other hand, evolved to compete for status with other women by pairing up with the most high-status man they can get. Though we're living in modern times, we're still driven by Stone Age psychology. In ancestral times, a woman's partner's status would have been a life-or-death issue, affecting the level of eats, housing and protection she had for herself and her children.

It's hard on the ego to learn why somebody's leaving you, but it beats needing a Ouija board. It's the mystery that's causing the problem. Typically, when rotten things happen to us, our feel-bad emotions rise up--driving us to take a wiser course of action the next time so we'll keep those bad feelings from popping by again.