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First Republican Debate
Five (of the eventual seven) Republican presidential hopefuls line up onstage in the first of roughly 1,400 debates before the primaries. They go head-to-head on a number of heavy topics, including immigration reform, fiscal readjustment and, eventually, even Newt Gingrich’s breakfast choices, which probably taste better than they sound, but how can you be sure, really?
Rumors Fly (Again) of Facebook IPO
Once again, the social media giant is the center of discussion, with murmurs of a potential IPO announcement getting louder—usually in the same breath as discussions regarding hovercars and Joan Rivers’ passing (namely, things that will never happen).
The World Is Coming to an End! Or Not
After an initial failed reading, Harold Camping re-announces that the Rapture will actually happen on Oct. 21, leading again to nothing. (Although, as it turns out, Kim Kardashian divorces on Oct. 31, so maybe he was on to something after all.)
Bin Laden Is Killed
9/11 mastermind and hipsterish VHS lover Bin Laden, is shot and killed in a covert operation orchestrated by Santa Clara University grad Leon Panetta. The world rejoices; Time Magazine’s cover design team goes buck wild, painting a dripping red “X” on his face. All is well.
Drawing New Lines, but Little Change
State starts redistricting process (eventually finalizing it on June 10), angering minorities and activists, only to end up more or less the same.
Sue Me, I’ll Sue You
Google challenges lawsuit by PayPal that says Google stole idea for cell phone transactions. PayPal alleges that Google recruited the executive who was negotiating their contract with Google, leaving no one to sign the deal.
Reed Declares Fiscal Emergency
Mayor Chuck Reed makes his first call to put pension reform on the ballot, even though everyone admits there is no legal precedent for his actions. He is still saying there is an emergency as everyone goes about their business.
Less Influence
After a long day of drinking and watching the San Jose Sharks, Councilman Ash Kalra is arrested in his gold Prius, and suddenly everyone stops mentioning him as a potential mayoral candidate.
A Shark and a Lawyer Go Into a Bar
A study in May confirmed what litigants in Silicon Valley already knew: Lawyers in the San Jose metropolitan area rake in the biggest bucks in the country. The average lawyer in the area earns around $192,000 a year, well ahead of fellow sharks in San Francisco, who command only $167K per.
Tased and Confused
San Jose reaches a settlement of somewhere between $90,000 and a quarter mil with an SJSU student who was violently subdued by SJPD two years ago after he allegedly threatened his roommate. It didn’t help that the incident was captured on cell phone video.
The Sperminator
California reels at the news that former Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child out of wedlock a decade ago with the family nanny. A devastating family revelation, but a gift from heaven to all late-night hosts. The need for a paternity test is scrapped when it is revealed that the lovechild is actually just a bicep.
