Hey, lady, everyone at the Safeway in Willow Glen really enjoyed your never-ending and obnoxiously loud cell-phone conversation. While you wailed away at full volume about everything and nothing at the same time, did you happen to notice that your two brats were screaming nonstop in the cart?

I think the innocent victims shopping nearby were as astounded as they were worried that you were going to black out from lack of oxygen as you seemed to never stop your banter and take a breath. Your kids must be lucky to have such a gem of a parent like you. People tried to avoid you, but your cunning cart operation rendered you in every aisle and thus inescapable. I almost had the courtesy clerk run and fetch the people in line a bottle of vodka so we could steady our nerves after your onslaught. You have achieved a level of idiocy that few attain. Congratulations!

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