STILL DON'T have plans for New Year's Eve? Don't get stuck with Dick (Clark) to do; play like a pimp, rock out to an '80s metal band or party with Joe Sharino—all in one night.

Scientists have shown that the earlier you turn in on New Year's Eve, the higher the likelihood you're a boring old fart. So buck the trend and do something outrageous this year and into next. Like Bush's spies, we went underground to find the very latest last-minute activities for Americans who want to act ridiculous in the name of a new year. Enjoy the waning days of our civil liberties at one of these 2005/2006 events.

Alberto's Live Latin music from Ruido Azul. 736 W. Dana St., Mountain View. 650.968.3007.

Babes Sports Bar and Grill With a champagne toast and DJs spinning all night. 398 S. Bascom Ave., San Jose. 408.271.9000.

Boswell's 10 'Til 2 performs. Plus hats, horns and a champagne toast. 9:30pm. $5. 1875 S. Bascom Ave., Campbell. 408.371.4404.

California Roadhouse Rock & roll band Vegas Nights performs. Also a four-course dinner package, champagne and party favors. 401 Castro St., Mountain View. 650.254.8981.

Caravan The Third Rail and Toowamp. 8pm. No cover. 98 Almaden Ave., San Jose. 408.995.6220.

Cardinal Lounge "New Year's Eve Bash." Three dinner options, plus a champagne toast, dancing to Hollywood and more. 6pm dinner; 9pm dancing. $85 per couple; $10/$15 for dancing and midnight toast only. 3197 Meridian, San Jose. 408.269.7891.

Cascal New Year's Eve Fiesta. Live Latin music until 1am. Plus a special dinner menu. 400 Castro St., Mountain View. 650.940.9500.

Cattleman's Restaurant Live music with Mark Richards and friends. 502 Ross Drive, Sunnyvale. 408.734.5566.

The Claddagh Dinner specials, live music and drinks. No cover. 1300 First St., Gilroy. 408.848.5050.

C&J's Sports Bar S.A.D.F.I.S.H., Desperate Move, Highroad and the Dopplegang. 21 and over. 9pm. 1550 Lafayette St., Santa Clara. 408.247.4027.

Cuccini Two DJs spinning house and hip-hop, plus a balloon drop, champagne toast and more. Presented by Y-Metro and In the Mix. 8pm. $20/$30. 72 N. Almaden Ave., San Jose. 408.287.1737.

Dan Brown's With DJs Suite, Joe-L and Seelo, plus an all-you-can-eat buffet and a champagne toast. $20. 4141 El Camino Real, Palo Alto. 650.493.9020.

Deep "Wild Carnaval New Year's Eve 2006." Carnival theme with aerial and fire artists, acrobats, dancing in four rooms with live DJs and Wild 94.9 broadcasting. Plus an open bar 8-10pm, complimentary champagne all night, a laser lights show and more. 8pm. $15-$30; $225 couples suite package. 170 W. St John St., San Jose. 408.287.DEEP.

Duke of Edinburgh DJ music and champagne. 9:30pm. 10801 N. Wolfe Road, Cupertino. 408.446.3853.

The Fillmore Les Claypool's Hatters Ball. 9pm. 1805 Geary St., San Francisco. 408.998.TIXS.

Firehouse Grill and Brewery With the Latin jazz band Yvette Y Su Orquestra Mambo Tropical. Plus a three-course gourmet meal. Reservations required. 7-9pm and 9:30pm-1am. 111 S. Murphy Ave., Sunnyvale. 408.773.9500.

Fire House Lounge TRI-PLEX spins grooves. Plus food, champagne and party favors. 9pm. $15. 55 Fifth St., Gilroy. 408.847.7575.

Fred's Place With a DJ and dancing. No cover. 2534 Old Middlefield Way, Mountain View. 650.940.9838.

Glo Big Pimpin' New Year's Eve. With DJs Nastynick, David Q, Javie Navarro, Solarz and RQ—and a champagne toast. 8pm. $50. 396 S. First St., San Jose. 408.971.2226.

House of Genji A New Year's Eve dinner, plus a complimentary photo and champagne. 1335 N. First St., San Jose. 408.453.8120.

Intimate Elegance Presented by Big Boogie Nights. With DJs Zulu, Blind Fury and Jose. Plus late-night breakfast buffet and a champagne toast. $50. 9pm-2am. Sheraton Grand Ballroom, 1100 N. Mathilda Ave., Sunnyvale. 408.236.2237.

Johnny V's DJ International Superburt spins. Plus a live hip-hop show. 31 E. Santa Clara St., San Jose. 408.947.8470.

Krazy Koyote Dinner and dance party. Featuring live Latin old-school and cumbias from Latin Affect. $15-$25. 8337 Church St., Gilroy. 408.848.1112.

Kyoto Palace Special menu, starting at $29.95 for adults and $15.95 for children. Party favors and champagne. 5-10pm. 1875 S. Bascom Ave., Campbell. 408.377.6456.

Left Bank A special prix fixe menu and live music starting at 9pm. Santana Row, San Jose. 408.984.3500.

Los Gatos Lodge Bar and Grill Champagne toast, overnights and a prix fixe dinner. No cover. Overnight $109 and up, dinner $35.50 Los Gatos-Saratoga Road, Los Gatos. 408.354.3300, ext. 164.

Mission Ale House Champagne toast, poppers, hats, confetti and a live DJ. 9pm. 97 E. Santa Clara St., San Jose. 408.292.4058.

Mountain Charley's New Year's Eve Soiree. All-night dancing with Drive the Band and DJs Masta B and the Doctor. 15 N. Santa Cruz Ave., Los Gatos. 408.395.8880.

Niles Essanay Silent Film Museum Showing The Pony Express (1925), Hearts and Planets (1915) and Love, Loot and Crash (1915). 7:30pm. $5. 37395 Niles Blvd., Fremont. 510.494.1411.

Paragon A four-course meal, DJ and dancing and a midnight balloon drop. Packages available at Hotel Montgomery. 211 S. First St., San Jose. 408.282.8888.

Rock Into New Year's With Years of the Reminiscent, Black Tuesday and others. Cambrian Park Church of the Nazarene, 2575 Coit Drive, San Jose.

Rosie McCann's A champagne toast and countdown, prime rib dinner and DJ. 355 Santana Row #1060, San Jose. 408.247.1706.

San Jose Bar and Grill Champagne, singing and dancing. 85 S. Second St., San Jose. 408.393.6058.

San Jose Skate Getter, Stoic Nai, Evolution and the Number Fox. 7pm. $8 (includes skating). 397 Blossom Hill Road, San Jose. 408.226.1155.

Santa Clara University's Women's Basketball Vs. Ball State. 7pm. $2-$7. Leavey Activities Center, 500 El Camino Real, Santa Clara. 408.554.4545.

Sonic Mirth With Capistrano, ODF, Left to Die, Strangers Arms and others. 6:30pm. $6. Morgan Hill Community Playhouse, 17090 Monterey Road, Morgan Hill. 408.782.0008.

South First Billiards Champagne toast, countdown, balloon drop and guest DJ spinning dance music. 9pm. No cover. 420 S. First St., San Jose. 408.294.7800.

Splash A champagne toast, balloon drop and two floors with two DJs. 8pm. $15. 65 Post St., San Jose. 408.993.0861.

Starlite Dance Club New Year's Eve Gala Waltz lesson at 8pm followed by dance party from 9pm to 1am with hors d'oeuvres, party favors and a sparkling-cider toast. Semiformal or formal dress. $20. 1160 N. Fair Oaks Ave., Sunnyvale. 408.745.7827.

Studio 8 Solid Gold NY Eve. Multiple DJs. Plus midnight toast. $30/$40. 81 S. First St., San Jose. 408.279.4444.

Toon's Dancing, champagne, party favors and a balloon drop. 52 E. Santa Clara St., San Jose. 408.292.7464.

Trials Pub Prize giveaways and a champagne toast at midnight. 265 N. First St., San Jose. 408.947.0497.

Ugly's Party with Ugly's Man and Woman of the Year. 9pm. 1313 El Camino, Mountain View. 650.965.8255.

Viaggio Dinner, 5-10pm. Music and celebration, 9:30pm- 12:30am. 14550 Big Basin Way, Saratoga. 408.741.5300.

Zibbibo Seatings at 5:30 and 8pm. Late seating has champagne toast, dancing. $65 three-course early/$95 five-course late. 430 Kipling Ave., Palo Alto. 650.328.6722.

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