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Microsoft Rocks!

photo illustration Software giant rolls out unbelievable lineup for Silicon Valley, along with a rock & roll red carpet for concert-goers an exclusive report Metro has obtained an unreleased Microsoft memo containing details of a special rock concert planned for the Bay Area. The unannounced show, dubbed 'The Concert of the Millennium,' was expected to be announced to the mainstream press early next week pending the confirmation of additional acts. --Editor Subject: A Musical Millennium Manifesto To: The Citizens of California From: Microsoft Corporation It is with great pride that William (Bill) H. Gates III, Chairman and CEO of Microsoft Corporation, announces the largest rock & roll extravaganza of all time, The Microsoft Concert Of The Millennium, to take place April 21-25, 1999. This event will be entirely funded by Microsoft Corporation with admission being free and complimentary food and beverages provided to all those who attend. This is our way of saying thank you to the millions of loyal Microsoft customers throughout California and to introduce those consumers to our company's latest innovation, Popware. Popware is a software program that allows personal computers not only to talk, but to sing. Once installed and activated, a Popware personality will accompany the user through all computer activities and carry on a conversation and/or sing to the PC user in the actual voice of the selected star. The first four Popware celebrities to be offered will be Barbra Streisand, Wynonna, Jose Feliciano and James Brown. What better way to promote this amazing technology than to throw the biggest concert in history and invite the world? When Mr. Gates realized the Rolling Stones would be rocking San Jose on April 19 and 20 to make up their canceled January concerts, he emailed a few thousand of his very closest friends. The result will be a spectacle unmatched in musical history. With the entire San Francisco Bay as its backdrop, Microsoft Corporation will present five days of continuous music by the greatest concentration of musical talent ever assembled. Multiple stages will be constructed up and down the bay to showcase the massive array of acts scheduled to perform. As plans are finalized the public will be informed which artists will be playing at the various sites. Click on image for detailed map of concert venues (83k). Stages will be constructed and moored in the bay at the following locations: Emeryville, Alviso, Redwood City (Pete's Harbor), China Basin in San Francisco, Berkeley Pier, Oakland Pier and Alameda. Although shows can be seen and easily heard from the shoreline all the way from Oakland to the Alviso slough in San Jose, there are many concert-goers who will want to be as close to the stage as possible. To this end our friends at Goodyear Tire and Rubber Company have donated two million inner tubes for those hardy souls who would like to float around the stage. Those individuals who decide to use an inner tube must sign a liability waiver, and it is suggested that a wet suit be worn at all times. Microsoft employees will be at all the venues to supply food and drink. Our present menu plans call for each day's breakfast choices to be eggs or Egg Beaters, bacon, sausage, yogurt, cereal, fresh fruit, pancakes, cinnamon rolls, bear claws, milk, coffee, tea, herbal tea and the following juices: orange, tomato and apple. Lunch selections will include pasta, meat loaf, steamed vegetables, lo mein, lentil or wild mushroom soup, soft drinks, iced tea, milk, juices and a medley of sandwich choices--club, grilled cheese, turkey, BLT, barbecued beef or French dip. Dinner appetizers will be spring rolls, rumaki, quiche, dim sum, chicken or beef satay, and savory grilled vegetable kabobs. Click on image for daily menu for the concerts (83k). Dinner will be served between the hours of 6 and 8pm and diners may select from sea bass, cioppino, pizza, hamburgers, hot dogs, turkey burgers, fried chicken, crab legs, sweet-and-sour pork or kung pao chicken, French onion soup, dinner salad, sourdough or whole wheat bread, raw vegetables, soft drinks, tea, coffee and desserts including seasonal fruit pies, tarts, specialty cakes, ice cream and pudding. Here are your performers! Leading off Day 1 are the Rolling Stones followed by Pete Townshend with Roger Daltrey, the Eagles, Alanis Morissette, Phil Collins, Jimmy Page and Robert Plant, Tori Amos, David Bowie with Iggy Pop, Wu-Tang Clan, Los Lobos, Metallica, Snoop Doggy Dogg, Hole, B.B. King, Paul Rodgers, Storyville, Elvis Costello, Bonnie Raitt, Keb Mo, Phish, Fastball, Sugar Ray, Paul Carrack, Carlos Santana, Marilyn Manson, Mickey Hart's Planet Drum, the Brian Setzer Big Band, Liz Phair, Paula Cole, Blues Traveler, Lauryn Hill and No Doubt. Mr. Gates believes two is a magical number that signifies togetherness and reinforces his personal belief that visions shared are visions realized. Day 2 is April 22, and so the appropriate time for legendary musicans to reunite. With this in mind, leading the pack might be a spoonful of sugar, might be a spoonful of CREAM! Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker and Jack Bruce together again! Once again we'll hear the low spark of high-heeled boys as Traffic with Steve Winwood, Jim Capaldi and Dave Mason take the stage. Alex Chilton and his seminal band Big Star are on board. The Clash will rock the Casbah. You'll hear Soundgarden, New Order, Depeche Mode, the Divinyls, Oingo Boingo, the Smiths with Morrissey, Jane's Addiction, the Sex Pistols, Tears for Fears, The Jam, Boston, Journey with Steve Perry, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Grand Funk Railroad, Jellyfish, Squeeze, Pet Shop Boys and four bands of monumental importance we feared would never play together again: Sly and the Family Stone, Guns n' Roses, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Buffalo Springfield, The Replacements and, last but not least, Mr. Gates' favorite band, the Joe Walsh-led power trio that roared out of Cleveland in the late '60s, the James Gang. Day 3 is the British invasion led by three of the gentlemen who changed the face of rock music forever--fellows by the name of McCartney, Harrison and Starr playing with some young men named Lennon--Sean and Julian, to be exact. Has there ever been a day you could hear the Police and Pink Floyd live? You will today. You might also recognize a few of these Englishmen who will grace our stages--Rod Stewart, Peter Gabriel, Jeff Beck, Joe Cocker, The Kinks, Blur, Oasis, Eric Burdon and the original Animals, Tom Jones, Dire Straits, Jethro Tull and Procol Harum. Did we mention the Irish are also coming? A band you might like called U2 will be joining us, as will Van Morrison and Sinead O'Connor. And we didn't want the Australians to feel left out, so we invited Natalie Imbruglia and AC/DC. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band headline Day 4 as we present a musical stew sure to please everyone's palate. Paul Simon, Aerosmith, Dr. Dre, Cypress Hill, Ani DiFranco, Busta Rhymes, Coolio, Smashing Pumpkins, Rancid, R. Kelly, Garbage, Wilco, the Jayhawks, King's X, Puff Daddy, Ice Cube, Smash Mouth, Elliott Smith, Tina Turner, Shawn Colvin, Rage Against the Machine, Built to Spill, Salt-N-Pepa, Foxy Brown, Brian Wilson, Steve Earle and En Vogue. Click on image for complete schedule for each concert day (83k). On the last day we get a first--the inaugural performance by the J&B Band. That would be Jacob and Bob with the last name being Dylan. The Beastie Boys are scheduled to drop by. Mr. Tom Petty has informed us he has some freshly written tunes to play, and we also will be listening to some new work by Jackson Browne, Joni Mitchell and Don Henley. It's also high time we heard some country music, and that problem will be neatly solved by Garth Brooks, the Dixie Chicks, Vince Gill, Patty Loveless, Leann Rimes and George Strait. You'll also enjoy R.E.M., Billy Joel, Brandy, Method Man, Lucinda Williams, Los Van Van, Chayanne, The Fugees, Eagle Eye Cherry, The Foo Fighters, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Jay-Z, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Barenaked Ladies and, to finish things off, Pearl Jam and our very last performer, The Artist. Besides the bay, we will also use the salt-drying ponds owned by Cargill Salt Company as a concert venue for those artists such as Jewel who require a more serene, intimate setting. Microsoft Corporation would also like to use these five days to offer employment to qualified individuals. For the entire five days of The Concert Of The Millennium we will conduct job interviews at a nearby, and still undisclosed, location from the hours of 8am to 8pm. Stay tuned for details. We are especially seeking those individuals with engineering experience and also desire to fill positions in marketing, programming and accounting. Long-term employment with full benefits and stock options awaits those who have the skills we are seeking to lead us into the year 2000 and beyond! On behalf of Mr. Gates and all of us here at Team Microsoft, we wish you all the very best and hope to see each and every one of you at The Concert Of The Millennium. The very best, Barry Friedman Press Secretary and Human Resources Supervisor.Exe For additional information, go to microsoft-millennium.com. [ San Jose | Metroactive Central | Archives ]