[ Index | Bars & Clubs | Metro | Metroactive Central | Archives ]
Me and My Shadow
By Christopher Weir
HE STARES AT THE cigarette between his fingers, then exhales a steady stream of white vapor. He watches the vapor twist, writhe and ultimately vanish amid the coffee shop's hot fluorescence. If only Marilyn would vanish so easily. Fat chance. Hell, he can still smell her perfume hovering through his nicotine haze. He might have seen her for the last time tonight, but she'll never really vanish. At least not from his memories. And maybe even his heart.
"More coffee, sir?"
He smiles and nods. The waitress refills his cup, then hurries back to the kitchen. He's a living legend. She doesn't want to make him feel uncomfortable by hanging around. For once, he wishes someone would hang around. He takes a sip, then glances at the empty booths, the empty stools.
Another drag, another sip, another regret.
A warm wind slams against the windows, the stale Silicon Valley air careens off El Camino Real and slithers through every joint and crevice. The early-morning hours are stacking up amid the darkness beyond, buoyed by his restlessness, encouraged by his brooding.
At least there's the coffee shop. He doesn't know where he'd have gone if it weren't for the coffee shop. To the clubs, the taverns, where all the drunks and floozies would claw at him for autographs, for trysts, for provocations, for worse?
No, he has to appreciate this new phenomenon, the coffee shop, this iridescent 24-hour sanctuary where even a living legend can peer into the deep night, into some brown liquid, into his soul.
And, for once, in peace.
He stubs out his cigarette. He wonders exactly when he lost control. When she lost control. When they lost control. The cigarette burns for another moment, then smolders. The ashtray might as well be a mirror.
He is a poor Sicilian kid from San Francisco who made it big with the bat and emerged essentially unscathed from the firestorm of New York baseball, his legend not only intact, but perhaps unparalleled. His career is defined by the summer of '41, when he safely batted in 56 consecutive games, a record destined to outlast the home-run records of Ruth, the consecutive-games-played record of Iron Man Gehrig, and perhaps every other noteworthy record on the books. Fifty-six straight games ... a record like that is about more than talent. It's about composure.
See, nothing bothers Joltin' Joe. Not high, hard ones hurled in the vicinity of his head. Not the taunts following contract squabbles with the Yankees. And certainly not post-divorce headlines screaming, "DiMaggio Strikes Out!"
But tonight something is bothering Joltin' Joe, though he tries hard to fend it off with logic and cigarettes. Sure, to any observer his trademark composure, the bedrock of his persona, would appear intact. Within, however, he is waging a visceral battle between his image and his reality, between his mind and his heart.
Between that man and a woman.
Another sip, another memory. He chuckles faintly. It wasn't funny then, of course. But the years have shed their bitterness, and the embers of anger have long cooled.
It happened during the filming of The Seven Year Itch, at that pivotal moment when the star--that is, his wife--stepped over a subway grate, the hot subterranean wind hiking her white skirt up to her waist. It all went according to script until one indiscreetly positioned rubbernecker hollered in a thick New York accent: "Jeez, I thought she was a real blonde!"
Joltin' Joe was furious. Humiliated, too. A friend tried to console him with drinks at a local haunt, but to no avail. Finally, the friend waved a frustrated hand and muttered, "Well, what can you expect when you marry a whore?"
It wasn't really the words that stung, but rather their honest resonance.
The marriage soon spiraled out of control, poisoned by an increasingly volatile elixir of Hollywood gossip and irreparable incompatibility. Less than two weeks after the divorce ... yes, that was exactly when he lost control. Drunk and enraged, he threatened to kick down the door to the apartment of one of Marilyn's unsavory friends. Two of his buddies intervened, but Joltin' Joe could not be placated. Finally, one of them called Sinatra, who rushed to the apartment building with a buddy. Order wasn't necessarily restored, but the door survived.
Tonight, the thought of Sinatra still boils his blood. It's the tentacles of that crooner's crowd, he believes, that are pulling her deeper and deeper into the vortex of drunken instability. Rumors persist that she is now involved with Attorney General Kennedy, and maybe even his brother.
There's a thought. His wife. Screwing the president.
The coffee is now cold and bitter, and the sun threatens to peek through the troubled dawn. He shouldn't have gone out last night. Then he wouldn't have run into her at the restaurant. He wouldn't have seen the pain lurking in her carefree, flirtatious, intoxicated eyes.
He wouldn't have had to admit to himself that he still loves her.
If he were given to premonitions, he might see himself bending over a casket later this summer, delivering one last kiss to a life extinguished but not forgotten. But he is not given to premonitions. And so vague hopes persist.
He throws a few dollars down on the counter, stuffs the pack of cigarettes into his pocket. He steps out onto the pavement. The wind is still warm, yet he draws his coat tight. The Valley of Heart's Delight smells no better than before. But no worse, either. He can't wait to get back home.
His footsteps echo through the lonely avenues. He pauses for a moment, looks over his shoulder at the spectral neon, at the towering sign that burns like a beacon. Through the broad windows, he can see the waitress wiping down the counter.
God bless the coffee shop. It won't save Marilyn's life. But tonight, it may have saved his.
A Joe DiMaggio Kind of Place
Campbell
Barnes and Noble 1875 S. Bascom Ave., Campbell (408/559-8101).
Campbell Coffee Roasting Co.
City Espresso #1
Orchard Valley Coffee Roasting
Cupertino
Coffee Society
Fantasia Coffee & Tea
Gilroy
Coffee Roasting Club
First Street Coffee Exchange
Fremont
The Bean Cafe
Los Gatos
Café Rouge
Dolce Spazio
Great Bear Coffee/Los Osos Cafe
Los Gatos Coffee Roasting
Mission Valley Coffee Roasting Co.
Menlo Park
Café Borrone
Milpitas
Borders Books, Music, and Cafe
Java Garden Café
Morgan Hill
Breaktime Espresso Bar
Morgan Hill Coffee Roasting
Mountain View
Bay City Coffee Roasting
Cuppa Joe
The Islands Espresso
Jumpin' Java Coffee House
Mountain View City Cyber Cafe
Red Rock Coffee Co.
Palo Alto
Borders Books, Music, and Cafe
Caffé Verona
Printers Inc. Cafe
Prolific Oven
St. Michael's Alley
University Coffee Cafe
San Jose
Barnes and Noble
Café Docanto
Cafe Leviticus
Cafe Matisse
Caffé Pastaia
Caffé Zucco
Camera 3 Cafe
Casa Vicky
City Espresso
Coffee.com
Coffee Cantata
Cozine Coffee Magazine
Espresso Amore
Espresso Garden and Café
Java N Juice
Keystone Coffee
Lynn's Coffee
Moonrock Café
Moulin Rouge Coffee Roasting
St. James Coffee
Valley Yogurt/Espresso
Vienna Coffee Roasting
Willow Glen Roasting Co.
Santa Clara
Cafe Aroma
City Lights Espresso
Coffee Factory
Mission City Coffee Roasting
Saratoga
Blue Rock Shoot
International Coffee Exchange
Rojoz
Sunnyvale
The Bean Scene
Various Locations
Peets Coffee & Tea
Starbucks
[ San Jose | Metroactive Central | Archives ]
Copyright © Metro Publishing Inc. Maintained by Boulevards New Media.
He doesn't know where he'd have gone if not to the coffee shop. To the taverns, where the drunks and floozies would claw at him? No, he has to appreciate the coffee shop, where even a living legend can peer into some brown liquid, into his soul.
You do something to me
Something that simply mystifies me
Tell me why should it be
That you've got the power to hypnotize me?
"You Do Something to Me" (Porter)
1875 S. Bascom Ave., #112, Campbell (408/559-8040).
1820-B W. Campbell Ave., Campbell (408/370-477).
349 E. Campbell Ave., (408/374-2115).
Oaks Shopping Center, 21265 Stevens Creek Blvd., Cupertino (408/725-8091).
10933 N. Wolfe Rd., Cupertino (408/865-1689).
7501 Monterey Road, Gilroy (408/847-5120).
1211 First St., Gilroy (408/842-1340).
34323 Fremont Blvd., Fremont (510/759-6822).
42 Elm St., Los Gatos (408/395-1599).
221 N. Santa Cruz Ave., Los Gatos (408/395-1335).
19 N. Santa Cruz Ave., Los Gatos (408/395-8607).
101 W. Main St., Los Gatos (408/354-3263).
40059 Mission Blvd., Fremont (510/440-0321)
1010 El Camino Real, Menlo Park (650/327-0830).
15 Ranch Dr., Milpitas (408/934-1180).
1215 E. Calaveras Blvd., Milpitas (408/262-1061).
614 Tennant St., Morgan Hill (408/778-9395)
Monterey Road and Second Street, Morgan Hill (408/778-2586).
632 San Antonio Rd., Mountain View (650/941-9955).
194 Castro St., Mountain View (650/967-2294).
530 Showers Dr., Mountain View (650/917-1690).
744 W. Dana St., Mountain View (650/390-9638).
City Center Bldg., 650 Castro St., Mountain View (650/964-3707).
201 Castro St., Mountain View (650/967-4473).
456 University Ave., Palo Alto (650/326-3670)
236 Hamilton Ave., Palo Alto (650/326-9942).
320 California Ave., Palo Alto (650/323-3347).
550 Waverley St., Palo Alto (650/326-8485).
806 Emerson St., Palo Alto (650/326-2530).
217 University Ave., Palo Alto (650/322-5301).
3600 Stevens Creek Blvd., San Jose (408/984-3495).
7 N.. 33rd St., San Jose (408/272-2929).
1445 The Alameda, San Jose (408/279-8877).
371 S. First St., San Jose (408/298-7788).
(in Hotel DeAnza) 233 W. Santa Clara (408/286-8686).
74 S. First St., San Jose (408/297-9777).
288 S. Second St., San Jose (408/998-0932).
792 E. Julian St., San Jose (408/995-5488).
632 E. Blossom Hill Rd., San Jose (408/972-4500).
1204 N. Capitol Ave., San Jose (408/923-4662).
702 Meridian Ave #I, San Jose (408/445-2224).
23 Post St., San Jose (408/292-8477).
5965 Almaden Expwy., #O, San Jose (408/323-0423)
814 S. Bascom Ave., San Jose (408/298-0808).
519 W. Capitol Expwy., San Jose (408/265-8301).
321 S. First St., San Jose (408/292-4698).
1657 Tully Rd., San Jose (408/259-6232).
2650 Alum Rock Ave., San Jose (408/258-4514).
628 Town and Country Village, Stevens Creek and South Winchester boulevards, San Jose (408/247-4611).
1683 Branham Lane, San Jose (408/978-9040)
3276 S. White Rd., San Jose (408/270-4307).
2067 Camden Ave., San Jose (408/371-1981).
383 Lincoln Ave., San Jose (408/297-9077).
3488 El Camino Real, Santa Clara (408/985-9555).
1171 Homestead Rd., Santa Clara (408/296-0415).
3787 Stevens Creek Blvd., Santa Clara (408/296-7600).
2221 The Alameda, Santa Clara (408/261-2221).
14523 Big Basin Way, Saratoga (408/741-5180).
14471 Big Basin Way, Saratoga (408/741-1185).
18562-A Prospect Rd., Saratoga (408/777-8226).
186 S. Murphy Ave., Sunnyvale (408/738-4523).
1330 El Paseo de Saratoga, San Jose (408/871-0907); 2035 Camden Ave, San Jose (408/371-9088); 367 State St, Los Altos (650/941-6722); 798 Blossom Hill Rd, Los Gatos (408/358-6311); 899 Santa Cruz Ave, Menlo Park (650/325-8989); 153 Homer Ave, Palo Alto (650/325-2091); 77 Town and Country Village, Palo Alto (650/328-4771).
San Jose stores: 2721 Aborn Road (408/270-1383); 1600 Saratoga Ave. (408/374-4295); Pavilion Shops, 150 S. First St. (650/293-9945); 854 Blossom Hill Road (408/224-7574); 6477 Almaden Expwy. (408/323-9511); and 1396 Lincoln Ave. (408/298-5272). Other cities: 693 Santa Cruz Ave., Menlo Park (650/323-5118); 276 University Ave., Palo Alto (650/321-8600); 1677 Hollenbeck, Sunnyvale (408/733-5762); 795 E. El Camino Real, Sunnyvale (408/749-8158); 20520-A Stevens Creek Blvd., Cupertino (408/973-8358); 127 Ranch Dr., Milpitas (408/934-9810); 2370 El Camino Real, Santa Clara (408/984-7174); 1696 Bascom Ave., Campbell (408/371-6703); and 251 Vineyard Town Center Way, Morgan Hill (408/779-8692).
From the June 11-17, 1998 issue of Metro.