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Baroscope #3

The roving astrologer's faith in the Baroscope is reconfirmed By Traci Hukill AFTER THE NEAR-catastrophic Willis reading, I was gun-shy. For a moment the Baroscope had seemed to be mere hocus-pocus. The reading had ultimately been a success, but what would happen next time? Would my faith in the innovative new method of astrology be tested over and over again? Then I interviewed Andrea Hawkins and once again my doubts dissipated. Ms. Hawkins is a fetching young scholar who takes an interest in many and diverse subjects, and she responded to my questions with great enthusiasm. I looked up her birth date in the ephemeris and set to work. "According to the Baroscope, you are a person who has flashes of intuition when listening to live Latin music. Have you ever been to a salsa bar?" "I have," Ms. Hawkins replied promptly. "I went to my friend David's bachelor party at a salsa bar. It was almost all women--we had a fabulous time. And I realized that the brother of the woman David was marrying was a lech and an asshole. I just had this flash. It was weird." Noting that her chart indicated not just the moon in Leo but Mars in Leo as well, I asked if she felt particularly energized or pugnacious on that night. "Yes. That brother was really bugging me. I had a huge amount of energy. The blood of 1,000 Aztecs was running through my veins, or a 12-pack of Coors Lite. I'm not sure which." We moved on to the placement of talkative Mercury in her chart--which happens to be in Libra, the sign of the cocktail bar. "Loquacity transcends geography," she declared. "I'm going to chat wherever I am." And as for Venus in Libra? "I found love in Margaritaville once," she said, referring to a bar in Capitola. "He was one of those people who's so good-looking he makes your eyes water." And finally we came to spiritual Jupiter, firmly ensconced in Virgo, the celestial coffeehouse. "My coffeehouse days are over," she said, "but in fact, when I was a coffeehouse junkie, they took my picture and put it in the paper. I had the total James Joyce experience. I was epiphanying all over the place. I am who I am today as a result of coffeehouses." So there it is--incontrovertible evidence. I haven't doubted the Baroscope since. [ San Jose | Metroactive Central | Archives ]