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Hello, Dolly

Statuesque babe seeks financially secure partner for 10-year sexual liaison By Cecily Barnes SHE ARRIVES carefully dressed in lace panties, bra, thigh-high stockings and a short, sexy dress. Her hair is long and wavy, her curvaceous body taut and soft, albeit a bit cool before her bath. Her name will be something like Leah or Stacey; her long-lashed eyes will be wide open and her pouty lips, parted. She will not chatter or complain about work. She will not get mad or demand a certain kind of restaurant. And when it comes to sex, there is nothing she won't do. She's not a cheap date by any means--she commands $4,000 upfront. But she's, well, willing to do just about anything her suitor wants for as long as he wants--as long as he has specified it on his order form. Meet RealDoll, the all-silicone-rubber '90s incarnation of the inflatable Miss Pinky, whose noncollapsible body arrives in possibly the world's largest plain brown wrapper: a 5-foot-long coffin-shaped crate. Her designer, Abyss Creations, promises that sex with one of these new silicone-bodied babes is like getting it on with a soft and lifelike doll. Made of silicone from head to toe, her entire body feels like a plump and malleable breast, the ads promise, one that can be heated up by slipping the body into a scalding-hot bath. "RealDoll can feel very fleshlike to the touch, especially the breasts and the sex parts, but the bottom line is, it's a lifelike rubber doll," says Nick Black, spokesman for Abyss. "RealDolls look something like real people, and they feel something like real people, but that's where the similarity ends." And then, as an afterthought, he adds: "Perhaps this is the secret to the doll's success." Like buyers custom-ordering a blue four-door automatic car with a sunroof, CD player and leather interior, shoppers custom-order their RealDoll. First, one of two body types must be chosen--either the 5-foot-7, 115-pound doll with C-sized breasts or the more voluptuous 5-foot-1, 100-pound doll with D-sized breasts. Dolls come with one, two or three "entries" for sexual penetration; more entries cost more money. Love-doll shoppers also choose hair color, skin color and makeup color, and whether their dream babe will be shaved, trimmed or forestlike. Lastly, one of two skeleton types must be chosen--the cheaper standard model or the poseable skeleton, whose internal steel frame allows the love toy to squat, straddle or hunch on all fours. Those who have taken the doll for a ride report it was one heck of a good time. "I had a hard time getting started, but with some lubrication, it's just right, so authentic," writes one presumably satisfied RealDoll customer. "Leah's face is so beautiful, and her breasts are AMAZING," another shopper gushes. "I can't keep my hands off her." According to Abyss, all of the dolls' "entries" have been crafted to create a vacuumlike suction effect. Her mouth has "soft, stretchy lips and ultra-soft tongue, soft silicone teeth and a hinged jaw that opens and closes--very realistically." All this, and no fancy wine or heavy conversations about the direction of the relationship. Since Reactor took over distribution two months ago, Abyss Creations reports having sold more than 60 dolls, approximately one per day. Radio shock jock Howard Stern's fascination with the RealDoll has caused millions of Web-surfers to visit the site, perhaps inspiring those one-a-day purchases. On a recent Stern show, Howard promised to fly RealDoll's creator, Matt McMullen, and the doll of his choice to New York--he'd reserve two plane seats, of course. Although fantasy is at the heart of the product, when the party's over with RealDoll, there's the very real matter of her personal hygiene, for which RealDoll comes with a handy turkey-baster-shaped water bottle for cleaning by her partner. "I suppose the doll doesn't have to be cleaned after each use, but we recommend it," Black says bashfully--as if being the spokesperson for a sex doll allows for timidity. "If the dolls aren't cleaned, I assume they will become dirty," he says defensively. Owning a RealDoll is far from having a real gal, even a quiet one, in other respects. When her time is up, something the manufacturer estimates will take about 10 years, the RealDoll will not decide she wants a baby or run off with the Alhambra man. No, she'll just fall apart--limbs everywhere. And with that, Reactor hasn't a clue about what customers should do with their $4k dream girl, even if the owner has developed a kind of sentimental attachment, as it were. "We don't suggest to customers how they should dispose of their RealDolls," Black says, clearly annoyed. "Forgive us if we haven't imagined what these things might look like sitting out at the landfill." [ Metro | Metroactive Central | Archives ]