.Smoking Bargains and Blistering Rock at Grocery Outlet

As Thin Lizzy faded into “Dreamboat Annie,” I contemplated the 49-cent tomato paste.

The Grocery Outlet Bargain Market in downtown San Jose, formerly the Albertson’s, formerly a Lucky’s for several decades, recently provided this writer with a prime opportunity to see how music calms the savage breast. And yes, killer deals were aplenty.

Beleaguered by the same neighborhood challenges as were its predecessors for at least 40 years, this grocery store is a trooper. I use that word for a few reasons, as we shall see, but first, Grocery Outlet is heroic in that it just soldiers on.

This particular block is one of those “if you know, you know” neighborhoods. Some of the challenges are Ronald Reagan’s fault, while other aspects can be blamed on city and county neglect for half a century.

Regardless, the store presents a slew of rocking deals for any connoisseur of San Jose underbelly. You just have to make regular appearances to scope out the recent arrivals. Many deals are often ignored by even the regular customers. I recently landed frozen samosas for $3.99 and a killer slab of Gruyère cheese that transported me right back to Switzerland.

Smoking bargains like these, though, are not even the best gig unfolding here. The loud hard rock playlist blasting from ceiling speakers makes every visit totally worthwhile.

During one random browse last week, a quiet period of downtime at 11am when not many other folks were in the store, the blistering Scorpions track “Can’t Get Enough” was followed by Aerosmith, then “The Number of the Beast” by Iron Maiden and “War Pigs” by Black Sabbath. All blasting at full volume. It was fantastic. I was 15 all over again.

Did I mention the speakers? They’re white boxes, similar to what you’ve seen embedded in the ceiling at your dentist’s office for 50 years—you know, a circular head with tons of holes for the music to come blasting down. Just gorgeously retro. 

I heard “Metropolis” by Motörhead cranking from these speakers while I perused the $4.99 bug fans in the kitchen aisle, and I tell you, with Lemmy’s gruff vocals and thundering bass lines, plus the propulsive overdrive of Fast Eddie Clarke’s guitar and Phil Taylor’s rhythm underneath it all, man, it just made the whole downtown San Jose shopping experience so much better.

At the end of that same aisle, there’s another speaker, directly over the Ashwagandha Root Powder, sort of like Indian Ginseng. A weathered bin of Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars sits right in front. I’ve lingered to “Metropolis” at that very spot a couple times. Lemmy, Eddie and Phil would be proud. I miss those guys.

That’s just one aisle. On another visit, I spent way too much time in the shampoo section because Iron Maiden’s tune “The Trooper” was blasting directly above me. The next time, it was “Denim and Leather” by Saxon that kept me near the bottled Moroccan olives longer than I expected.

The gaggle of South Asian SJSU students right next to me did not seem enthused by the music one bit, unfortunately. Not Saxon fans, I guess.

Now, to be clear, I am not an “influencer.” I’m not here to “recommend” things. If I do that, then people will get horrified by the downtrodden soul with his pants on backwards in the parking lot, throwing his suitcase at the tree over and over for 20 minutes. And I’ll get emails trashing my “recommendation.” Yes, these things happen. So I don’t do that.

When it comes to history, this parcel wasn’t always a grocery store, of course. In the ’50s and ’60s, before I was even born, most of the block along Santa Clara between Sixth and Seventh was Bob Coyle’s Chevrolet dealership. Back in those days, before suburbia cannibalized the valley, downtown San Jose was filled with car dealerships.

Nevertheless, I guarantee you there is no Safeway anywhere in San Jose that blasts “Cowboy Song” by Thin Lizzy at full volume. You will not hear “Calling Dr. Love” by KISS cranking at Whole Foods.

I know exactly where to go if I want Motörhead to ease me through the toilet paper aisle. I’ll be back. And you should too.